I read a poem, that made me think about some crazy shit thats happened in my life and inspired me to write this.


Surrender is an amazing thing, I went through a very intense "psychotic" episode (seeing and hearing things that "aren't there") after doing some spiritual practices while high on high grade marijuana, I was taken to the hospital by police where they promptly injected me with more drugs. They would not let me leave and I suppose that was for good reason, however I still believe I could have calmed myself down much more effectively on my own. I ended up seeing different realities, having some form of operation done on me on some other plane, and put myself through several tortuous realities in a cycling eternity created by my own mind, my own ego. Anyways the drugs were supposed to knock me the fuck out, but I was scared and my body was full of adrenaline but obviously it still had an effect on me, which unfortunately looked like a black circle closing in on my vision, I fought with all my heart and soul to stay awake as I thought I was dying, screaming the names of my friends and a girl I deeply cared about but never got to express my feelings to. They had to strap me onto the hospital bed with 6 thick straps. I was floating in and out of this world, and in and out of consciousness, I woke up and tore off the patches attached to my chest with my teeth, and got out of two of the straps before they came and strapped me down again. I had to spend over two weeks in the psych ward including getting out once and having another episode so I had to go back. In those two weeks I had to let go of my fear and surrender and rebuild my whole veiw on life, come to a conclusion, battle with all my will to take my broken pieces of awareness and assemble the puzzle so I could see through normal eyes again. I quickly accepted what was happening to me as I knew denial would make it worse and I DID rebuild my life. I haven't had any symptoms in over a year now, even if I forget to take my meds for long periods of time. I am now more happy and more spiritual than ever I feel the divine light of the one love shining through me, and all I can think of doing is spreading it to the world. Some people like you and me, we are meant to give... but giving doesn't mean giving so that something will be taken from you, that is one sided, you can give selflessly but if you don't appreciate yourself, then that is not true selfless giving, give and receive thats how it works so when your giving your love and your soul remember that that one love that is all of us is giving that love right back to you, you just have to be open to it, be aware of it say it in your head, whatever it takes to start feeling the divine inside of you, I know you can spread your wings and fly to heights you never thought imaginable, and as the rascal flatts say my wish for you is that this life becomes all you want it to.